O-Nigiri Lady
by Kid A1
Summary: A/U off of Neko-chan's A/U- Nishi-no (West) Kaiooshin meets a certain tall, red man with healing powers and asks him to be her bodyguard. Will it become a little more? *Kibito/Nishi* CHAPTER 4 UP!
1. Maternal Fires

****

O-Nigiri Lady

A DBZ fanfiction by LadyRivka

Chapter 1: Maternal Fires

A/N: Before I get started, this is a lil' Kibito/Nishi piece. Basically my excuse to a.) put West Kaiooshin in a fic and b.) do some het stuff with Kibito, for all the peeps who can't (or won't) read my East Kaiooshin/Kibito stuff. ; ) Also an excuse for an A/U- in this piece, West is East's MOM and not his sister or girlfriend or what have you. Also a spinoff from Neko-chan's piece, so I'm using some of her ideas. SOME.

Thank you. Now enjoy the first chappie.

-Rivka

She sighed, looking over the crib, knowing she could do nothing to help her infant son.

Never before did any Kaiooshin, not even a baby, get this sick. Nishi felt her son's head.

"Dear Universe, Shin-kun, you're burning up! At this rate, you could probably become dehydrated, poor thing." Again, Nishi sighed in defeat as her son slept in his crib.

She had had him a little over three months now. A year if you counted the ki-pocket that had followed her around for nine months, probably a result of some fluke one-way bond with one of the many men she had flirted with. In Earth terms, Shin-kun would be a bastard, uncared for; here, he was his mother's pride and joy. She would become royally pissed off, to say, the least, if she had her son die on her.

Please, she thought, please let him survive until morning, until I can see Dai Kaiooshin-sama about this.

A single tear of Nishi's trickled down her son's cheek, evaporating against his hot skin as it went.

___

Nishi awoke the next morning, to feel her son's ki gradually fading…

She had to do something. NOW.

She ran to the Dai Kaiooshin's quarters as fast as she could, frantic to get her son some help. She burst through the doors, and there sat the fat, kindly God of All Gods, with the Kaiooshin of the South at his side.

"Dai Kaiooshin-sama!" she yelled in a huff. "My son is very sick, and I don't know what to do about it…"

"Don't worry, there's an herbalist in the next village below the palace. Journey there in disguise. There is a very powerful remedy for all aliments they peddle down there."

"A sick Kaiooshin! Ha!" Minami snorted.

"Minami…just because you found out Shin-kun isn't your son doesn't mean you can't care about him! He is VERY ill, and if I don't act quickly, he will surely die!"

"But I'm bonded to you!" The tall Kaiooshin put a look of pity on his face. "You kissed me…" He started daydreaming.

"Minami, we were six, and just starting our Kaiooshin training! I didn't mean anything!" Nishi left, folding her arms over her chest. "Hmmph. Men. Just when you find the good ones in the Universe, they go berserk on you and you have to find more…"

A single tear rolled down South's cheek. The Dai patted his back, saying, "I doubt she was ever yours. West likes men too much…"

The both of them sighed.

---

Nishi went into the village, covered in a floor-length black cloak. She kept looking for this herbalist who was supposed to let her son live...

But a violent fray between two teen-aged boys kept her out of the open-air market. She just stood there, watching the hellish carnage ensuing before her. Before she knew it, the smaller of the two boys was unconscious, his mouth covered in blood, after the larger one had picked up a produce stand and threw it at him.

A tall man with reddish skin and long white hair was also a witness to the event. He was afraid to even be here, to even show up at the fight. People in other villages had seen what he could do, and they were afraid. They had the village elders ban him, again and again. Sometimes, they sent him to other planets, to no avail. His only real home was the road.

But he shook his head. He knew what he had to do. Slowly, he went to the boy, lifted the friut-stand off of him, and laid a hand on his chest. A yellow glow engulfed the boy, and people started running away from him, especially when the boy got up and announced he was fine.

The villagers ran every which-way, trying to get away from the man…

But Nishi stood there in amazement. She did not know of many mortals with healing powers, or a ki as strong as this man's.

"Pardon me, sir…" she asked him.

"What?" he answered in an annoyed tone of voice, his face sour.

"I was wondering…could you do that for my son? He's very ill."

"Why should I? I'll probably get kicked out of your village as well!" he growled.

Nishi looked around, seeing if the coast was clear, before she removed the hood of her cloak.

"NOW will you help me?" she asked.

The man was very surprised. Before him stood a very beautiful, elfin female with deep black eyes that shone green in the sunlight.

It couldn't be! 

"Madam…are…are you…?"

"Yes, I am the West Kaiooshin, and my son is very ill. Please help me." She got on one knee. "I beg of you!! Come back to the palace with me!"

The man was moved but before he could say anything, nay, before he could think, she grabbed his arm and whispered the two words he thought he would never hear in his whole life:

"Kai-Kai".

___

They returned to her quarters, where they found a purple-skinned baby, going in and out of consciousness.

"Please, sir," she whispered.

"Hai." For a Kaiooshin, the man felt like _no_ was not an answer. 

He touched the baby's chest gently, and infused him with some healing energy and a slight bit of his own ki. He removed his hand, and the baby opened his wide black eyes, and smiled.

'Thank you, sir!" She gave him a hug, or attempted to, anyway, since her arms would not go around his massive frame.

The Kaiooshin looked him in the eye and said, "What's your name?"

"Kibito," he replied monotonously.

With an expression of pure joy on her face, Nishi repeated her last statement, but slightly changed.

"Thank you…Kibito-san."

Kibito smiled as best he could.

"Now…I sense a lot of ki coming from you…"  


"Ki?"

"Life energy. You're very strong."

"Oh."

"…And I know you're kind of a _persona non grata_ on the rest of this planet…"

"So?"

"My last bodyguard was a pain-in-the neck. He HATED Shin-kun and he didn't have respect for me. Not to mention, he wasn't the LEAST bit attractive AND he hated my rice balls…so I fired him." Nishi gave Kibito a flirty smile. "So, are you up for protecting a Goddess of my caliber?"

Kibito flushed slightly, and stuttered, "H-hai!"

END CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2- How's Minami going to take this? And the rest of the Kaiooshin's? etc. etc. etc.


	2. First Day of Protection

****

O-Nigiri Lady

A DBZ fanfic by LadyRivka

Chapter 2: First Day of Protection

A/N: Nishi speaks to Shin-kun in baby talk, so she's going to sound a little strange at points.- L.R.

"So," Nishi said to Kibito, "I hope you're much, MUCH better than my last bodyguard." She picked up the now-alert, now-healthy Shin-kun from his crib, addressing him in baby talk. 

"He's gonna be a lot better than that other creep isn't he? Isn't he? He's gonna be good enough for my little boy! Yes he is, Yes HE IS!!!!"

Shin-kun just laughed as his mother mock-tossed him up in the air. 

"Mommy's hungry, so she's gonna take her little boy and "Bito-san on a picnic!" Nishi brought her son down so she was looking him directly in the eye. "How does that sound? Hm? How does that sound, Shin-kun?"

The baby giggled and clapped his hands while his mother turned around. "How about you, Kibito? Are you up for a picnic?"

"Where?"

"Oh, just out back. What do you want to eat?"

"Umm…I don't know."

"Rice balls it is!" Nishi put Shin-kun down on the bed and materialized a picnic basket and blanket. Then she picked up her son again, who was crawling towards the tall, red bodyguard.

Then they went out for their little picnic.

---

On their way out, they passed the Dai Kaiooshin's quarters.

"What…what the…who's that man with West?" yelled South.

"Dunno. I know she fired her bodyguard last week, maybe she found a new one."

"Bodyguard. Ha."

"She isn't making you jealous, I know her intentions. Besides, like she said, she can never tie herself down to just one man."

Minami sighed. It was all hopeless.

---

Finally, the party of goddess, son and bodyguard found a nice, secluded spot to picnic.

Nishi sat down on the spread blanket, son cradled in her arms and picnic basket beside her.

"Kibito-san, don't be shy. Please, sit down." She winked and indicated a spot next to her.

"_H-hai_." He inched towards her and finally sat down.

"Now, would you like some rice balls, Kibito-san?" She opened the picnic basket, and scooped up three giant _o-nigiri_ (rice balls), about two feet each in diameter. "This one," she said, pointing to the rice ball on the left, "is plain. The one in the middle has pickles in it, and the one on the right…Well, that's the surprise one. My favorite. So which one?"

"Madam, I think I will play it safe and eat the plain one," said Kibito.

"Good choice! Leaves the special one for me!" Nishi smiled.

Nishi and Kibito noshed on their rice balls, while Shin-kun sat on the blanket and watched the various birds and insects whiz by his little face. When they were finished, Nishi took a freshly-manufactured napkin and wiped the peanut-butter-cream-cheese-and-jelly stain from her rice ball off of her face. (A/N I bet you were wondering what she was eating!)

"Now, it's time for Shin-kun's lunch." She picked up the baby and looked at her bodyguard. "Now, Kibito, have some respect for me and don't watch. The last guy…well, he liked to watch. Sheesh. Some men don't understand that babies see breasts as food, and not as…breasts!" She turned around and opened up her shirt so she could feed her son.

Kibito tried his best not to watch. He honestly intended not to, he had covered up his eyes with his hands. He could not bring himself to dishonor this woman, even if he wanted to look at her.

"You can open you eyes now, I'm decent," she said. "And thank you for not looking. It must have been very hard for you not to." As she said this, she kneeled and caressed his chin.

Kibito was blushing bright red. "I knew you wanted to, but we'll save that for after Shin-kun's bedtime, ne?" she said in a low, seductive voice.

"Madam, we are supposed to have a purely professional relationship."

"Geez!" Nishi stood up. "You wouldn't know fun if it hit you over the head in the form of a beach ball! So serious! Loosen up, would you?"

Kibito sighed as West bent over to pick up her son. What did she see in him? Everyone else hated him…

As he was stuck in his thoughts, he overheard his charge talking to her son in baby talk, praising how cute he was and how he'd make a wonderful Dai Kaiooshin someday.

And then the question to end all questions:

"Shin-kun, whossat? Whossat?"

Silence for a couple seconds, and then….

"Bi…to….sa'! Bi-to-sa', Bi-to-sa'!"

"Good boy! Gooood Boyiiieee! You can talk, yes you can!"

And Kibito turned around and smiled, knowing he was the child's first word.

He would have never expected such a thing if he had stayed on the road as a nobody, a nothing.

Now he had a home, a place in his heart that was his.

END CHAPTER 2

Chapter 3: More daily-life stuff…


	3. Fun and Games

****

O-Nigiri Lady

A DBZ fanfic by LadyRivka

Chapter 3: Fun and Games

A/N: There will be many a Japanese cultural reference, shoved in as author's notes throughout. –Rivka

Their stomachs sated with rice balls, Kibito and Nishi waltzed back into the palace, the goddess holding Shin-kun protectively while the infant giggled.

"Madam, I was wondering, what do you people do for entertainment around here?" Kibito looked around for even a sign of an interesting book to read; books had been his only friends up to this point.

"Well, North fishes, South likes to…umm…play war games…"

"War games?"

"Yes, games of strategy. He has this card game he invented. It's a lot of fun to play, but he always tries to hit on me whenever we're playing it. He also likes normal old card games…and then he hits on me then too, suggests we play strip poker or something. I usually tell him off and say we're just friends. We have been friends since we were kids in Kaiooshin training, but he doesn't really get the idea that a male and a female can be just friends…Kibito-san, are you paying attention?"

"Hai," the bodyguard sighed, even though he was lying to the crazy goddess.

"So, as I was saying, the Dai just likes to sit around and eat stuff…it's the only thing he can do, since he's in charge of everything…and East, well, East is kind of creepy. I try not to go near him, he has a huuuuge attitude problem. Maybe because he's old and staring to go senile." She picked up Shin-kun and brought him to eye-level. "My boy's gonna take the place of that mean old East Kaiooshin, isn't he? Isn't he? Yes he is, YES HE IS!!! 'Cause my boy's the best little boy in the Universe…and he's soo cute too! Come to Mama, my little cutie-patootie." She jiggled the baby around calculatedly as she repeated "cutie-patootie" to him, and the Kaiooshin infant started to laugh.

"Madam, I hate to interrupt your mother-child bonding, but what do YOU do for entertainment?"

Nishi turned around abruptly, placing her son in her lap. "You-you really want to know?"

"Of course." Kibito flushed slightly.

"Well, for one thing, I make rice balls, you know that. Minami loves those things…I could make him run anywhere I wanted if I had a five-foot rice ball in hand. But we were young and stupid, at least I was…I think Minami's a tad slow to grow out of the 'stupid' bit. Still follows me with the rice balls…" Nishi sighed. "Great, now I'm getting nostalgic for him. The last thing I wanted."

"Madam, would you cease your rambling?" Kibito furrowed his brow.

"Oho, you take charge, eh? Now that's what I call a man!" she purred.

"Madam…I…I…" Kibito was still frozen to his spot in the room, cheeks more crimson than usual.

"I _knew_ you couldn't stand some fun!" Nishi giggled. "Now…what other things do I do for a hobby…Oh, yeah! The tanuki!"

"Tanuki?" (A/N: a tanuki is a mythological Japanese animal that's kind of a cross between a raccoon and a dog. Touching or rubbing the testicles of a male tanuki, or a statue representation thereof, is said to bring good luck.)

"I breed them. There's a whole planet of 'em out in my quadrant. The males are good-luck charms, get quite a bit of money for them. You'd be surprised how many people want to rub their testicles…"

"WHAT??" Kibito was absolutely shocked that a woman would be so brazen as to name parts of the male anatomy, especially if said woman happened to be a goddess.

"Geez, I just said "testicles". What's the big deal?"

"Madam, I am extremely shocked that a woman of your caliber would be so forthright and un-ladylike." Kibito crossed his arms and turned around.

"Hey, I'm a Kaiooshin, a goddess. I can do basically whatever I want. Here, hold Shin-kun for me. I gotta go someplace." With that, she "kai-kai"ed to the tanuki planet.

The infant looked Kibito in the eye. He reached out a tiny hand and said, "'Bito-sa' da's'ki!" (A/N: baby-talk for "_Kibito-san-ga daisuki desu_" [ I love Kibito])

Kibito smiled. This was one charming little baby.

Nishi returned as quickly as she had left, but this time, in her arms she carried a part-raccoon, part-dog creature with large, dangling testicles.

"You want to get some good luck, Kibito?"

"Umm…I don't think I'm up to that. Let the tanuki go and I will give you Shin-kun back."

"All right! Run, tanuki-kun! Spread the love!" Nishi let the animal go, and picked her baby up. "You know, I haven't seen North in a while, he actually last saw me before Shin-kun was born. Want to go see him?"

"Sure, why not?"

And so they waltzed down the hall to the North Kaiooshin's quarters, but he wasn't there. A sign on his door said "GONE FISHIN'". 

"Okay, I know his usual fishing hole. Hold on!"

Kibito hesitantly grasped West's hand while she whispered, "Kai-Kai".

---

North Kaiooshin was quietly fishing when, all of a sudden, he felt three ki's behind him, which startled the older Kaiooshin a bit.

But then he recognized one of them…

"Hey, it's West! Haven't seen you in quite a while."

"Yeah, we should do that chess rematch sometime. I always put you in check, and then you find a way to weasel out of it." Nishi sighed.

"True, but now I'm trying to catch me some carp."

"Carp you say? Those things are hard to catch!"

'That's why I put the carp-banners up. Success. And I see we've got ourselves a little man who would also benefit from those banners…" Kita smiled at Shin-kun.

" I know." Nishi smiled. "Isn't he precious? I think he's going to make a great Kaiooshin someday."

"I can feel he will," replied North. Just then, a fish pulled on his line, and he tried desperately to reel it in, but to no avail.

"Sometimes I think fishing causes more stress than it alleviates," the old man sighed. "Nishi, why don't you sing for us? I always liked your voice."

"Thanks. Any requests?"

"How about that song I taught you? About the family of carp?" (A/N this is an actual Japanese folk song. The carp in Japan is a masculine symbol, and also one of courage, success, and strength.)

"Well…maybe Shin-kun and Kibito-san would like it." With that Nishi cleared her throat and began.

__

Yaneyori takai koi-no bori

Ookii magoi-wa otoosan

Chiisai higoi-wa kodomo-tachi

Omoshiro soo ni oyoi deru.

(A/N (Rough) Translation: 

There are carp-streamers higher than our roof

The big carp is the father

All of the little ones are the children

It's so enjoyable, them being there.)

The song, in its stirring simplicity, got to Kibito, as did Nishi's stirring mezzo-soprano singing voice. That just had to be his siren song, the song that would make him strong enough to chase after her…

All the while, he was being knocked out of his thoughts by the baby's giggling. But he couldn't resist her. That voice. It was like his entire consciousness was being thrown for a loop, and now he realized that, for all of her flirtatiousness and brazen behavior, he actually liked her.

He was going to tell her that tonight…

END CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4- An end to this evil cliffhanger!


	4. One Hot Minute

****

O-Nigiri Lady

A DBZ fanfiction by LadyRivka

Chapter 4: One Hot Minute

A/N: No, nothing **really** racy in here. Just the title of a Peppers song. –Rivka

__

She said all we have is this

We just had to stop and share a kiss

Am I all alone?

One hot minute, and I'm in it, come and get it

One hot minute, and I'm in it, come and get it

One hot minute, and I'm in it, come and get it

If I chase it, I might waste it come and get it

Am I all alone?

Sitting in the fire

Get along and have some fun

Floating to be higher

Maybe I'm your special one

Silent testifier

Breathe the moon and eat the sun

Sitting in the fire…

Close your eyes and click your heels

Can you believe how good it feels?

Am I all alone?

One hot minute, and I'm in it, come and get it

One hot minute, and I'm in it, come and get it

One hot minute, and I'm in it, come and get it

If I chase it, I might waste it come and get it…

Excerpted from "One Hot Minute", by Red Hot Chili Peppers

While Kibito was lost in his own thoughts, West said to North:

"I've got something to do tonight. Would you mind watching Shin-kun for me?"

"Not at all, maybe he can have some of my fish."

"I don't think it'd be safe, giving such a little baby fish to eat. He hasn't even been weaned yet!"

"Okay, okay, I get your point." Kita sighed. A fish dinner and no one to share it with…such a waste…

While Kita was contemplating the care of Shin-kun and the use of his excess fish, Nishi waltzed towards Kibito.

"Where are you going tonight?" yelled North. "Just in case Shin-kun needs help…"

"I'll be…around…maybe in the garden…I've had such a craving for raspberries…" she lied, trying to telepathically distract North from the fact that she was lying.

"All right then," he replied. West ran off with Kibito.

"Madam, where are you really going?" the bodyguard inquired, trying to keep his voice at a whisper.

"I'm going to take a nice, long bath in the hot springs not far from the palace. And I need to you guard over me so the others don't find me and leer at me, got it?"

"Hai."

"Now follow me, but at a distance, because I don't want you seeing me take my clothes off!!"

"Of course, madam." He was totally infatuated with this woman, but he had a code of honor he lived by. And part of that code was trying not to disrespect females by seeing them naked.

He let Nishi go first, and, after a few yards, he started to follow. Slowly, though, as to give his charge her privacy.

When he finally got there, Nishi was already in the hot springs. FULLY NUDE.

Kibito couldn't help but stare in amazement at her. She had a truly amazing figure, accentuated by the droplets of water running over her small, pert breasts.

"What are you waiting for, silly? Come on in, the water's fine!" She turned around and smiled at him.

But all he could do was stare. His knees were getting weak, his nose was starting to bleed…and _something else_ was happening that he was trying to get his mind off of at that second. He was a gentleman, and he could control such things.

Or so he thought…

His knees buckled and he tripped into the hot spring, much to his embarrassment.

Nishi laughed. "You're such an idiot, first off you're not supposed to bathe with your clothes on, second off, you wouldn't have tripped if you took your hands off of your nose and your…umm…crotch!" The goddess blushed.

"Yes, madam, you're quite right." Kibito was still pinching his nose.

Nishi leaned in and whispered to him. "You know, a lot of other guys are insecure about that too…but I don't think _you_ should be," she said flirtatiously.

Kibito just stared at her as if she had gone insane.

"Well, I s'pose if you're going to be in here with me, I'd better cover up." With that she waved her arms and made a black bikini cover her up, and had her bodyguard change into swim trunks.

Kibito looked even more mortified.

"I can do that. You didn't know Kaiooshin could do that?"

"N-no, and I didn't know you could read minds either." By now, Kibito's face had turned the color of red wine.

"Well, we can. And I'm reading your mind right now."

"So, madam, what am I thinking?"

Nishi paused a moment. She leaned in closer to him, and purred, "Well, I can tell you're thinking some very bad thoughts about me right now, hmm?"

Kibito blushed even deeper.

"Told ya. How about a kiss, big guy?"

"R-really?"

Nishi nodded her head in such a manner so her long mohawk coquettishly waved around her face and the nape of her neck. Kibito felt the urge to pinch his nose again, as it was starting to bleed (again).

But she was much too quick for him. She held him down and pressed her lips to his.

This is amazing, Kibito thought as he deepened the kiss.

About a minute later, the both of them had to catch their breath.

"Wow," gasped Kibito, "You're good at that."

"No kidding," she purred back, "how many times must I tell you I'm a goddess?"

__

Minami was looking for Nishi, but was unable to find her at the berry orchards, so he took off in a planet-wide search for her.

And there he stumbled, onto the hot springs, with Nishi and that "bodyguard" of hers in a very deep, passionate lip lock.

"Nishi is NOT going to hear the end of this," said Minami. "I have to tell her how I feel, and I hope to the dear Universe she'll listen…now I have to get back, I think I've seen too much."

And off he ran to tell the others…if they believed him.

END CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5- Nishi trains 'Bito.


End file.
